Secrets seem to be an important theme in my events business…the only problem is historically (ask my family) I am not very good at keeping secrets- even my partner says I have a big mouth!
Secrets can be inspiring and exciting- the biggest and constant secrets in my business are my Secret Vintage events! I have run secret events for five years and have to keep the venue secret until two weeks before the event, plotting ideas and extra excitement for customers and our retailers alike. It’s a hard job to keep my mouth shut but I seem to manage it- by and large! This secret part of my job- is a secret side that makes me buzz with excitement and keeps me going!
However, on the other side of the coin, you have those secrets which are not so inspiring or healthy. I have always felt that talking and sharing are so important to the state of being and creating- and so being secretive is not totally in my nature. So here are some of my secret sides of myself which I don’t think are worth keeping as secrets- especially as some of them are ones that everyone keeps and it has the danger of eating you alive! So with you my secrets and how I deal with them.
Personally, I feel one of the main problems I have running a business and being a parent is that you secretly turn into two people both inside and out. You have to manage dual lives at the same time- we all do to a point, but there is nothing quite like the snapshot changes between parenting two high energy children and then the next second answering a call with a “professional” voice, whipping out a pitch to a prospective client or trader, while negotiating silence with a seven year old boy with just your eyes and exaggerated hand movements, knowing that shortly you’ll have to revert to bribes of chocolate or digital privileges.
It is one of the hardest things to do because it comes accompanied by guilt, that you are stretched too thin over both sides. But here’s another secret for you- you get more freedom to spend these precious years with your children with ability to manage your own hours, and more freedom to be creative, take risks and make money your way, you can also use the chance to teach your children new skills and capabilities by leading by example in their view.
On the surface in my business committments I try to come across as self-possessed, calm, confident and in control of a situation. Especially, when I am struggling with time, “real life” or in sometimes instances ideas, and I start to second-guess myself or question my approach! So one of the secrets I am letting you in on, is that one of the hardest things about running a business (and actually work in general!) is not just portraying confidence and knowledge but actually believing in yourself. So many people face this problem- the so-called impostor syndrome, a lack of self-confidence, a constant belief you are not good enough, call it what you want it’s a big problem, and not just for me! You only have to google it see this…which in itself is fairly reassuring to know its quite a human reaction.
I have learned personally to have faith in my abilities and try to remain calm- one of my amazing clients also taught me meditation techniques to help get through the most stressful of times or events. All this and remember just because you could do things differently or what you perceive to be a better way, it does not mean you are not capable, you are, you can either learn new ideas or ways, incorporate new ones, or realise your way actually has its merits.
Which brings me to my last point, that of self-love… it’s definitely one of those hot topics at the moment. It is hard, to love yourself when you feel you aren’t good enough, or you feel loving yourself is arrogant or selfish (a feeling the self-deprecating Brits have in spades!), or that other people’s lives and dreams are more important than your own. It’s an attitude that I have actively been trying to change in the last few years. What is so amazing is that when you start loving yourself and realising that you are as important as all the people whom you put first, that your dreams have value, that your skills are worth celebrating, and that looking after yourself is important, all of a sudden goals and life get easier. So the secret is Love Yourself…and yes that is okay! Having said that it is hard and I actively work at this every day.
There are other secrets parts to our work selves which I am sure we all have, and I have a feeling I will blog about again, but these are just a few of mine. Love to hear other peoples…oh and that’s another secret I am nosy!